The Arrival

I laid my love to rest today.  When I say my love, I actually mean my ex-husband, the father of my three daughters.  The divorce wasn’t of my choosing; in a way it wasn’t of his either.  It’s a complicated story, I won’t tell it here.  He was a man I feared.  He was also the only man I’ve ever loved, and the divorce didn’t change that – I could no longer live with him, but I didn’t stop loving him.  There’s an element of relief that the fear is over; but it is dwarfed by the overwhelming sense of grief.  There was an opportunity before he died to speak words of forgiveness and reconciliation.  I know that by the end he was at peace with God and we will meet again one day.  In trying to find words for my grief and hope, I wrote this poem which I read at the service of thanksgiving for his life:

The Arrival

Your arrival came too soon for me,
So that it seemed no coming, but a leaving;
More like a vessel putting out to sea
Than what it was – the Father’s arms receiving
The son his heart had yearned so long to see.

 Nothing but the lapping of the waves
Remains, a quiet wake behind your sailing,
And the deep echo in the distant caves,
And the sea-mist, your last departure veiling,
And the sad lapping, lapping of the waves.

But, beyond where mortal eyes can see,
A Father on a distant shore is dancing,
Powerless to contain the ecstasy
At seeing his dear child so close advancing.
I know you rest where you were born to be;
But your arrival came too soon for me.

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3 thoughts on “The Arrival

  1. Oh Ros! A real ‘lump in the throat’ post. But so beautifully expressed. I’m glad you had an opportunity t speak those words of love and reconciliation. I hope that that will comfort you.

  2. Beautifully composed and so sensitively written, Ros. I love that you’ve chosen to view it as an arrival rather than a departure. May the Comforter be with you in your pain and loss.

  3. That is so beautifully written, You have poured your soul into it and chosen images that are powerful and inspiring. Thank you for sharing your emotions and your talent with us, Ros.

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