As a family we are all processing this experience in different ways, some healthier than others. On Sunday afternoon I was doing some gardening and contemplating how each of us is dealing with it. I had a sense of heaviness, and an awareness of a kind of darkness that it was throwing over the family.
In the evening I sat and listened to someone reading Psalm 139. In the middle of this beautiful poem there is a stanza which says:
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.
And the sense of oppression lifted as I reminded myself that actually, there’s no such thing as darkness. What we call darkness is merely the absence of light, the shadow cast by what blocks out the light. I know that God is very present with me – with all of us – in this journey, the God who is light, and in whom there is no darkness at all. And so for a few minutes I sat in silence and revelled in the thought that the darkness and the light are both alike to God; however dark this feels to me, the darkness cannot hide from the God who is light, and therefore the light of God falls even on this darkness, making it shine as bright as the day.